HELLO, HEARTBREAK
The New Yorker|December 09, 2024
Heartbreak cures are as old as time, or at least as old as the Common Era.
JENNIFER WILSON
HELLO, HEARTBREAK

Around the year 1 C.E., the Roman poet Ovid followed up "The Art of Love," his dating manual in verse, with an antidote titled "Cures for Love." Among the recommendations are to pick up a hobby ("cow bulls into submission"), distract yourself with a new partner ("as they split off into many a stream, mighty rivers lose muscle"), and, if possible, take a trip at once: "Don't fake an excuse, either, for sticking around. Don't check the calendar. Don't keep looking over your shoulder back at Rome."

This past summer, I did the bidding of the ancients and booked a seat on the Berkshire Flyer-Amtrak's seasonal train from Penn Station to Pittsfield, Massachusetts to get some distance from my own romantic disappointment. A few weeks earlier, I had been dumped by a man I was seeing-and by text, no less. Even the rake Rodolphe had the decency to add a drop of water to his breakup letter to Emma Bovary, hidden in a basket of apricots, to make it look as though he was inconsolable. Yet does that spare Emma's feelings? When the basket arrives and her husband invites her to smell the fruit's sweet aroma, she shouts, "I can't breathe!" With respect to breakups, the message is the message.

This story is from the December 09, 2024 edition of The New Yorker.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the December 09, 2024 edition of The New Yorker.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM THE NEW YORKERView All
ART OF STONE
The New Yorker

ART OF STONE

\"The Brutalist.\"

time-read
6 mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
MOMMA MIA
The New Yorker

MOMMA MIA

Audra McDonald triumphs in \"Gypsy\" on Broadway.

time-read
5 mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS
The New Yorker

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS

\"Black Doves,\" on Netflix.

time-read
5 mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
NATURE STUDIES
The New Yorker

NATURE STUDIES

Kyle Abraham's “Dear Lord, Make Me Beautiful.”

time-read
5 mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
WHAT GOOD IS MORALITY?
The New Yorker

WHAT GOOD IS MORALITY?

Ask not just where it came from but what it does for us

time-read
10+ mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
THE SPOTIFY SYNDROME
The New Yorker

THE SPOTIFY SYNDROME

What is the world's largest music-streaming platform really costing us?

time-read
10+ mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
THE LEPER - LEE CHANGDONG
The New Yorker

THE LEPER - LEE CHANGDONG

. . . to survive, to hang on, waiting for the new world to dawn, what can you do but become a leper nobody in the world would deign to touch? - From \"Windy Evening,\" by Kim Seong-dong.

time-read
10+ mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
YOU WON'T GET FREE OF IT
The New Yorker

YOU WON'T GET FREE OF IT

Alice Munro's partner sexually abused her daughter. The harm ran through the work and the family.

time-read
10+ mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
TALK SENSE
The New Yorker

TALK SENSE

How much sway does our language have over our thinking?

time-read
10+ mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025
TO THE DETECTIVE INVESTIGATING MY MURDER
The New Yorker

TO THE DETECTIVE INVESTIGATING MY MURDER

Dear Detective, I'm not dead, but a lot of people can't stand me. What I mean is that breathing is not an activity they want me to keep doing. What I mean is, they want to knock me off. My days are numbered.

time-read
3 mins  |
December 30, 2024 - January 6, 2025