I AM PIZZA RAT - HAN ONG
The New Yorker|October 23, 2023
At the San Mateo Community Center, a sign tacked up at the end of the hallway says "If you're here for FALLING, NATURALLY you've walked too far. Go back. It's the middle door." On closer inspection, the comma turns out to be some schmutz or stray ink.
I AM PIZZA RAT - HAN ONG

The young Filipino instructor allows me and another nonstudent, Bun (pronounced "Boon"), an African nurse, to observe. We sit away from the participants, at the back of the basketball court that has been commandeered for Falling Naturally. Mats cover a large section of the floor, and the centerpiece is an obstacle course made of hard foam. The color scheme is schoolyard-not a pleasure on the eyes. Bun's charge is the friendly white guy with the belly and the tonsure. Mine is my father, and we are both old men: he is seventy-six, and I turned fifty-one a few months ago. Among the reasons that I sit in on this class and on his doctors' visits is to see what could happen to my own body in the not too distant future. Also: Is there anything I can do to prevent it? In other words, I am trying for a different demise. I am my father's only child. My mother has been dead going on thirty years-whatever future ailments await me may have more to do with her than with my father.

That I came back to San Mateo temporarily to live in my childhood home and help care for my father, and that I have not agonized about it-this was a surprise. And that my father had a plan-not only would he pay the rent on my New York City apartment, which I would keep, but he would give me a thousand dollars a month, plus let me use his well-maintained Datsun-was another, greater surprise. I wonder, though: Will I sell the house after my father passes and make a renewed stab at my life as a writer in New York, or will I stay on in San Mateo? That I am considering the latter is a sign of how congenial life here has turned out to be.

This story is from the October 23, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the October 23, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM THE NEW YORKERView All
President for Sale - A survey of today's political ads.
The New Yorker

President for Sale - A survey of today's political ads.

On a mid-October Sunday not long ago sun high, wind cool-I was in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, for a book festival, and I took a stroll. There were few people on the streets-like the population of a lot of capital cities, Harrisburg's swells on weekdays with lawyers and lobbyists and legislative staffers, and dwindles on the weekends. But, on the façades of small businesses and in the doorways of private homes, I could see evidence of political activity. Across from the sparkling Susquehanna River, there was a row of Democratic lawn signs: Malcolm Kenyatta for auditor general, Bob Casey for U.S. Senate, and, most important, in white letters atop a periwinkle not unlike that of the sky, Kamala Harris for President.

time-read
8 mins  |
November 11, 2024
LIFE ADVICE WITH ANIMAL ANALOGIES
The New Yorker

LIFE ADVICE WITH ANIMAL ANALOGIES

Go with the flow like a dead fish.

time-read
2 mins  |
November 11, 2024
CONNOISSEUR OF CHAOS
The New Yorker

CONNOISSEUR OF CHAOS

The masterly musical as mblages of Charles Ives

time-read
5 mins  |
November 11, 2024
BEAUTIFUL DREAMERS
The New Yorker

BEAUTIFUL DREAMERS

How the Brothers Grimm sought to awaken a nation.

time-read
10+ mins  |
November 11, 2024
THE ARTIFICIAL STATE
The New Yorker

THE ARTIFICIAL STATE

A different kind of machine politics.

time-read
10+ mins  |
November 11, 2024
THE HONEST ISLAND GREG JACKSON
The New Yorker

THE HONEST ISLAND GREG JACKSON

Craint did not know when he had come to the island or why he had come.

time-read
10+ mins  |
November 11, 2024
THE SHIPWRECK DETECTIVE
The New Yorker

THE SHIPWRECK DETECTIVE

Nigel Pickford has spent a lifetime searching for sunken treasure-without leaving dry land.

time-read
10+ mins  |
November 11, 2024
THE HOME FRONT
The New Yorker

THE HOME FRONT

Some Americans are preparing for a second civil war.

time-read
10+ mins  |
November 11, 2024
SYRIA'S EMPIRE OF SPEED
The New Yorker

SYRIA'S EMPIRE OF SPEED

Bashar al-Assad's regime is now a narco-state reliant on sales of amphetamines.

time-read
10+ mins  |
November 11, 2024
TUCKER EVERLASTING
The New Yorker

TUCKER EVERLASTING

Trump's favorite pundit takes his show on the road.

time-read
10+ mins  |
November 11, 2024