There will be blood
Toronto Life|February 2024
Bedbugs are-no exaggeration-everywhere in Toronto: our libraries, offices, schools, hospitals, hotels, transit and homes. Inside the always expensive, often traumatic, probably futile battle to eradicate the bloodsucking parasites that are ruining our lives
By Lauren McKeon. Illustration by Alex Antonescu
There will be blood

IN the spring of 2017, I moved into a grubby basement apartment in the Beaches. When I went to view it, I could already tell that it would be perpetually damp-it smelled faintly of turned earth and musty sock. It was depressingly dark. There was no place for my desk, and I would have to store my cat's litter box in the shower. Yet I was desperate to move out of the apartment I shared with my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, and I couldn't afford much else on my freelancer income. Besides, the space did have a few things going for it. I liked the industrial-boho aesthetic of its exposed-brick wall and concrete floors, and there was a washer and dryer squeezed into the bathroom. Plus, the location: I could leave my cave for the sandy, sunny shores of the lake any time I wanted. In a moment of willful delusion, I told myself I could make it work.

I couldn't. Despite the $300 dehumidifier I splurged on, my apartment remained stubbornly soggy. Then, in my first winter there, a couple of days before New Year's Eve, the pipes froze. When the plumber finally arrived, his strategy was to hack into the drywall-raining debris on my floors and furniture-until he found the offending pipe; it took days for my landlord to (badly) patch the gaping holes. After that, ants streamed in, forming undulating lines across my bookshelves, my kitchen counters, my bed. I stocked up on traps and diatomaceous earth, orchestrating the colony's demise with the glee of a serial killer. My relief was fleeting. One day that summer, I arrived home to find an anonymous note in the mailbox. It helpfully informed me that a few houses on the block were battling rats-rats!-and that the rodents could squeeze through the smallest of cracks.

This story is from the February 2024 edition of Toronto Life.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the February 2024 edition of Toronto Life.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM TORONTO LIFEView All
Scatter Brain - Maybe it sounds glib to suggest that a complex neurodevelopmental disorder is having a moment, but if you haven't noticed that ADHD is everywhere these days, you haven't been, well, paying attention
Toronto Life

Scatter Brain - Maybe it sounds glib to suggest that a complex neurodevelopmental disorder is having a moment, but if you haven't noticed that ADHD is everywhere these days, you haven't been, well, paying attention

Five years ago, hardly anyone was talking about adult ADHD. Now it's all over social media, and self-diagnosis is rampant. How a complex neurological condition became the new superpower

time-read
10+ mins  |
July 2024
Marital Arts
Toronto Life

Marital Arts

Three Toronto couples who celebrated their nuptials in spectacular fashion

time-read
2 mins  |
July 2024
Strings Attached
Toronto Life

Strings Attached

Country music's barrier-busting cowboy Orville Peck is tearing through 2024 with a new album, new collabs and a new outlook on life

time-read
3 mins  |
July 2024
On Thin Ice
Toronto Life

On Thin Ice

As a competitive hockey player, I dreamed of playing professionally. When I lost my leg to bone cancer, I thought it spelled the end of my career

time-read
4 mins  |
July 2024
THE BATTLE FOR Leslieville
Toronto Life

THE BATTLE FOR Leslieville

Last summer, when a stray bullet killed a young mother near the South Riverdale supervised consumption site, it sparked a vicious fight between area residents. One year later, tensions are high, neither side will back down and the opioid crisis rages on

time-read
10+ mins  |
July 2024
WHO EARNS WHAT
Toronto Life

WHO EARNS WHAT

Groceries, rent, inflation, shrinkflationToronto has never been more expensive. What better time than now to obsess over other people's incomes?

time-read
10+ mins  |
July 2024
There will be blood
Toronto Life

There will be blood

Bedbugs are-no exaggeration-everywhere in Toronto: our libraries, offices, schools, hospitals, hotels, transit and homes. Inside the always expensive, often traumatic, probably futile battle to eradicate the bloodsucking parasites that are ruining our lives

time-read
10+ mins  |
February 2024
Work Less, Live More
Toronto Life

Work Less, Live More

The 40-hour workweek sucks. Ambition is overrated. Life is short. Confessions from the new and intentionally underemployed labour force

time-read
10+ mins  |
February 2024
Dinner, Party
Toronto Life

Dinner, Party

Four resto-clubs where you can fuel up then boogie down-all without leaving the premises

time-read
3 mins  |
February 2024
Urban Diplomat
Toronto Life

Urban Diplomat

One of my friends has started policing strangers' social lives online. If he overhears people gossiping, he'll whip out his phone and surreptitiously record.

time-read
3 mins  |
February 2024