Everything I wish I knew before starting my long-distance relationship

You want to stay together over the summer even though you are far apart. But *should* you?

- LENA GENOVESE

When I first met my boyfriend four years ago, I thought that life couldn’t get much better. He was sweet, funny and, most of all, instantly approved by my besties. After a few weeks, we made our BF/GF status official—and while the labels were exactly what my heart was hoping for, my brain couldn’t get past one small detail: Once school let out, we’d be going our separate ways for the summer.

Looking back, I wish that someone had given me the lowdown on what being in an LDR (aka long-distance relationship) would actually be like. While (spoiler!) my BF and I are still together, four summers of being apart hasn’t exactly been a day at the beach.

So whether you and bae are separated by actual distance or just crazy summer schedules, here’s what you’re going to need to navigate your new dating normal—straight from someone who’s been through it.

First, decide if you’re ready to LDR.

I won’t sugarcoat it: Distance can be lonely, frustrating and draining. There’s the obvious stress of spending time apart, the occasional chaotic communication moment (wait, they didn’t text you back but they’re posting on IG stories?), the struggles to sync your schedules so you can *finally* see each other (or even just FaceTime) and simply figuring out the usual ups and downs of romance (from miles away).

So before you dive into a long-distance relationship, be honest with yourself: If you have zero chance of ever seeing each other IRL again (or you’re not the *best* texter or the idea of all this is just exhausting), then an LDR probably won’t work for you. Still think you two can, um, go the distance? Cool. Now it’s time to sit down with bae and create your ground rules.

Communicate what you need (and what you don’t).