Maybe they were your very first crush. Maybe they're dating someone else in your squad. Maybe it's a situationship that never seems to end. Maybe you gave it a shot and got rejected. Maybe they're your best friend...who's made it clear they only like you as, well, a friend.
Whoever they are, it's evident that an *actual* relationship is unattainable and it's time to get over it. Just one small problem: You simply can't.
"I knew early on things were never going to happen with my crush, given that he had a girlfriend and lived in a different town," admits Annie D., 14.
But the obvious obstacles didn't stop her brain from obsessing. "Because I built him up in my head, thought about him constantly and compared him to every other potential crush, it was impossible to let go."
Turns out there are scientific reasons why it's so hard to move on. Studies show that it takes longer to get over our "first love" than it does any other relationship. And according to Texas-based therapist Dr. Amy Rollo, we have chemical changes in our brain to thank.
"First crushes create major changes in neurotransmitters like oxytocin and dopamine, releasing feel-good hormones that make you want to hold onto those feelings and keep crushing," Dr. Rollo explains. She adds a note of caution: "Don't let that chemical process fool you into thinking this person is the only right person."
So how do you spot a crush that's going nowhere...and how do you find the fuel to put an end to your feelings? We asked the experts (and GL girls who have been there) for their best advice on creating closure and forging a path forward.
IS IT TIME?
This story is from the October/November 2022 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the October/November 2022 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Have we become mental health obsessed?
As the line between self-reflection and overanalyzing is becoming increasingly blurry, girls are scrolling themselves into spirals.
ACTUALLY.YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME
\"It could be worse.\" \"Everything happens for a reason.\" \"Look on the bright side.\" \"Just think positive!\"
MAY WE PRESENT THE NON-NEGOTIABLE RULES OF FRIENDSHIP
When it comes to the golden rules of bestiehood, being an amazing friend goes way deeper than always responding to her DMs and surprising her with Starbucks on her birthday. Sure, those smaller gestures are important, but building a bond that'll go the distance requires showing up in all the ways that really count. Take a second to check in and see if you're truly following through on your friendships...or if you need to up your bestie game.
HOW TO REPLY TO LITERALLY ANY CRUSH TEXT
All you need is their number—and these perfect responses.
So you messed up...
Everybody makes mistakes. What's next? Moving past the regret, repairing your rep and healing yourself.
RELATION TROPES
IS IT TIME TO TURN THE PAGE ON THE LESSONS FROM OUR FAVE LOVE STORIES?
Are you secretly sabotaging your skin barrier?
You know how your quads feel on fire after a super hard workout? Turns out your skin doesn’t love too much of a good thing either (like all the serums, peels and masks you slather on after that everything shower).
IS YOUR GUY FRIEND RUSHING ON YOU?
HE'S THE JITO YOUR SARAH, THE LEE TO YOUR ELLE, THE HARRY TO YOUR HERMIONE. BUT IS HE SECRETLY HOPING FOR SOMETHING MORE?
LET'S GET glossy
\"Did you do something new to your hair?\" -Everyone, the day after you try this.
WHAT'S YOUR SELF-CARE STYLE?
Understanding what truly brings you good vibes will help you feel confident and appreciated, even after sweetheart season ends. Answer these Q's to uncover your ultimate self-love strategy—and then start treating yourself like the total catch you are.
