Sporting feast on the river

After a morning controlling marauding pigeons on the allotment, a few trout are just the ticket for a top-notch barbecue banquet

- MIKE SWAN

There is nothing as delicious as a fresh fish that you have caught yourself, and cooking a trout, on the riverbank, that has been caught in the past hour or so is one of life's great joys. There is only one problem; you need a backup plan in case the fish do not cooperate.

With Sunday lunch at the fishing hut in mind, and a guest list of my son, Peter, and Chris Bright of Bright Seeds fame, I began to eye up the pigeons on my allotment. Fried trout to start, followed by pigeon breasts flashed in butter in a skillet and then served with fresh bread and salad seemed a fair menu. Even if there were no fish, it would not be a total disaster.

Pigeon attacks

My first rows of peas were filling out under the netting. Uncovering them every time I wanted to pick a few was very time-consuming, so it was time to peel that back for good and take a chance on pigeon attacks. Meanwhile, my carefully nurtured winter brassica plants were also ready to plant out.

So, invoking the 'prevention of serious damage' general licence, it was time to break out my great-grandfather's Army & Navy hammer 20-bore, some 21g loads of No 712 shot, and drop a few pigeons.

A shotgun on the allotment might seem a tad heavy-handed compared to an air rifle, but I was after deterrence as well as carcasses, so a few proper bird-scaring bangs were part of the project. I am very lucky that I live in the countryside with neighbours who understand these things. Also, there are two extensive safe arcs of fire out over fields where the farmers have no objection.