The art of letting go

Learning to 'move on' might seem impossible at first, but it can leave you happier and healthier

- SAMANTHA WOOD

Ever feel like you just can't come to terms with something that has happened? It's time to stop beating yourself up. The inability to 'get over it' or 'move on' is down to our biological and evolutionary make-up, so if you're finding something hard to accept - it's very much not your fault.

The act of accepting, closing the door and moving on from things - whether that's an unattainable goal, the dissolution of a relationship or the loss of a loved one - is extremely challenging as it's almost like admitting defeat, says body psychotherapist Jessica Eve (kaylolife.com). 'We naturally fight against it because our bodies have learned that they need to fight to survive. However, being in a state of nonacceptance can leave us feeling stuck or trapped. Plus, if steps aren't consciously taken to move on after an adverse experience, the body often won't allow the experience to be forgotten, which can lead to the depletion of our mental and physical wellbeing.'

Here's why- and how - we should take steps to accept...

Trapped by the past

Feel you get stuck in a wallowing rut after a break up? When things go wrong, or we experience emotional pain and trauma, our brains like to hold on to the details, poring over the information and re-running the tape, to try and make sense of what happened and to prevent it from happening again. Traumatic experiences can also foster a wish to be able to go back in time and have things play out differently, which is why we often find ourselves obsessing over them, wishing things had been different.