Of Loving and Being Loved

Roshan Valiram talks about turning 40 and the lessons learned along the way

- Koyyi Chin

“Happy birthday, mama!” Came the sudden chirps of Roshan Valiram’s sons.

Although I couldn’t see them from where I sat, the love and affection the family had for one another was loud and clear in just the way they spoke to each other.

This intimate atmosphere persisted at her birthday party held at Four Seasons Kuala Lumpur, as friends and family from all over the globe poured into the hall. Roshan, dressed beautifully in a pink, form-fitting evening gown designed by local label Ivan Young, was beaming from ear-to-ear as she greeted each and every one of her guests.

Fast-forward a couple of days after her birthday weekend extravaganza, we were having tea at Huckleberry café when she suddenly spoke to the waiter in fluent Tagalog, ordering a cheesecake to share. Not recognising the language at first and caught off-guard, I blinked at her in surprise.

Flashing me a quick smile, Roshan tells me that Tagalog is the language she grew up with. Born and raised in the Philippines, she explains that during the partition of India in 1947, her grandfather set sail for the Philippines and settled there.

When asked what she missed most about the Philippines, “people” had been her immediate answer. “Manila is a fun city, it’s just vibrant. Life wasn’t easy there. But the people—they were so friendly. Their openness and warmth is what I miss the most.”

As she reminisces the past, I couldn’t help but address the elephant in the room—about how she felt about turning 40. Was it terrifying? Liberating? Or all of the above?