When Emman looks back at her childhood, she does so with eagerness and appreciation for her parents Felicia and Kim Atienza. At a tender age, they introduced her to many forms of art including ballet dancing, singing and gymnastics. For the most part, she can truly say that her parents have given her opportunities from which she draws much of her personality-an "eccentric, quirky friend who gets along with almost anyone," as she describes.
"My idols have always been my parents. I look up to my father for his creativity, passion and charisma; and my mother for her entrepreneurial instincts, intelligence and resilience," Emman shares.
However, as years went by, Emman learnt to perceive the world differently. Her constant exposure to unfiltered social media content has severed her healthy study habits and even connections to friends. Her once lively self eventually "deteriorated", and her emotions slowly consumed her.
"Since I was young, I was normalised to the idea of dying, and thoughts of death did not scare me as much as they should. For that, I hold the social media dynamic accountable. In a generation ruled by the internet, it's hard to avoid sensitive topics. Among us 'Gen Z' people, it's a very common occurrence to hear people say I'm going to kill myself or I'm depressed' in a satirical manner. Social media gives these types of people a platform to spread this negative mentality. As a pre-teen, I was exposed to these exact suicidal, self-deprecating jokes and more. Overall, the casual mentions of suicide with the added unhealthy beauty standards set by society caused a sense of insecurity in me to fester and opened me to the idea of death," she explains.
Her heightened self-awareness also made her process trauma from her past. Looking back, Emman believes that there were other factors from her childhood she might have missed, including assault from one of her guardians.
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