I can't believe it,' I said to my workmate, Ed, then 21, stunned.
'I'm so sorry,' he replied.
It was December 2015 and I'd just learned my mate Dan, 27, had died by suicide.
Devastated, I'd no idea Dan, who had such an infectious personality, was doing it so tough. I'd only spoken to him on Saturday.
As I set about finishing my shift as a carpenter, Ed did his best to listen and cheer me up.
But both of us knew suicide was no laughing matter - it was bloody awful.
Watching the broken faces of Dan's family at his funeral later that week was horrific.
Still in disbelief,
I experienced a gamut of emotions.
Could I have prevented him from this? I tortured myself, replaying chats we'd had in my mind, searching for answers.
Was there a sign I'd missed? Or something different I could have said?
I spent hours talking about it to family, friends, and of course, Ed.
I realised that most blokes we knew were like Dan hiding their feelings and suffering in silence, instead of sharing their battles.
'It has to stop. I wish there was something we could do,' I sighed to Ed.
'Maybe there is,' he said.
We'd been talking about setting up our own business, making funky work shirts and high-vis gear, for a while. Now we came up with a brilliant idea.
'We could put some of the profits into raising awareness about mental health, as a tribute to Dan,' I said to Ed, desperate to turn his tragic death into something positive.
This story is from the March 02, 2023 edition of That's Life Magazines.
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This story is from the March 02, 2023 edition of That's Life Magazines.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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