Beating the blues
Here comes Mr Perfect,' my best mate Sam teased me. 'Got the lot lovely girlfriend, nice clothes.'
'Yes, that's me,' I laughed.
If he only knew the truth, I thought.
Ever since I was young, there'd been times where darkness would descend and I'd be tormented by depression and anxiety.
At just 10 years old, I even had suicidal thoughts.
Ashamed, and with no idea how to talk about my depression, I hid it.
Once I'd told a mate after a few drinks. He didn't know how to help, so walked awkwardly away.
After the loss of my father Tony, aged 52, I was consumed by grief.
And the prospect of starting a family with my beautiful fiancée Carolina, then 27, while grappling with depression terrified me.
'I need some help,' I told Carolina, breaking down as we sat in the car in 2014.
I was frightened she'd leave that she'd think I was a freak.
'Let's get you help from the GP,' Carolina said.
So I bravely opened up.
'How long have you felt like this?' the GP asked.
'As long as I can remember,' I admitted.
Referred to a psychiatrist, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
Each session left me mentally and physically exhausted, like I'd run a marathon.
Although I started on it still didn't medication, seem enough.
Walking was my big healer, but I often didn't have the time to do it.
When Carolina was pregnant with our first son, Finn, in 2015, I was desperate to beat the darkness. Reading a report from mental health organisation Beyond Blue about how social connection was crucial in protecting men against depression, it set me thinking.
At the pub soon after with a couple mates, one was chatting about his recent knee surgery.
This story is from the Nov 17, 2022 edition of That's Life Magazines.
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This story is from the Nov 17, 2022 edition of That's Life Magazines.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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