<p>So, there I was sitting with my buddies the poolside at a low-rate 3-star hotel like the classy guy I am when a commotion breaks out. A crowd of people have surrounded a lady, looking to be about 75, and her still husband. The woman was in tears as the people around her began to stress and become frantic.</p>
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<p id="1">Two people were on the phone desperately trying to call an ambulance. It was when the phone operator asked for an address people lost their minds. For no one had thought to remember the address of a run-down hotel/motel, so the conversation stopped.</p>
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<p>As a crowd of people flooded to the front of the building, trying to find a street number, I stayed completely still. Maybe it was the booze, or maybe it was me knowing roughly what was going to happen. For now, the man had been left alone, his arms dangling the sides of the chair. The poolside was eerily silent. I&rsquo;m not one to embellish a story, but then I genuinely heard &hellip;</p>
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<p id="1">Splat!</p>
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<p>I watched, as overhead, a seagull dropped hatches and slammed last night&rsquo;s dinner onto this poor, old, supposedly dead man&rsquo;s chest. The man, whose family and friends had left him to call for help, sat up, looked around quickly, and developed the world&rsquo;s largest smile. I didn&rsquo;t know the elderly could move like this guy moved; hell, I can&rsquo;t even move like this guy moved. Sprinting, jumping, hopping chairs. Single handily moving from table to table, drinking every glass he saw - the beverage owners having left to get him help. The old fart managed to finish about 25 drinks, wipe bird slop off his chest, and stumble back to his pool recliner. The bloke even had enough balls to make eye contact with me, and wink.</p>
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<p id="1">I&rsquo;m not sure where I&rsquo;m going to be in 50 years, but if I&rsquo;m still fit enough to con an entire poolside out of their drinks I&rsquo;m sure I won&rsquo;t be complaining.</p>
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