IN SEARCH OF THE #20BITEEN MAN

SEXUAL EXPRESSION HAS ARGUABLY NEVER BEEN MORE INCLUSIVE, BUT BISEXUAL MEN STILL STRUGGLE SIMPLY TO CONVINCE THE WORLD THEY EXIST. WE ASKED FIVE OF THEM TO TELL US THEIR STORIES

- DANA HAMILTON

“I don’t think I could date a bi guy,” a friend recently told me. “I’d be constantly paranoid that he’d want to leave.”

I had giddily sent her a picture and some quick facts about the man I was going out with that night — bi, a dad, a scientist — which I usually do before a date, both out of excitement and for my safety. But when I got my friend’s response, my stomach dropped, even though it was hardly the first time I’d heard something like it.

As a sex columnist, I strive to clear up myths, whether they’re rooted in fact (blue balls) or not (“accidental” anal). I’ve written about baby play, sex dolls and furries, and no one has batted an eye in terms of accepting their validity. Yet male bisexuality remains a blind spot even in my relatively progressive inner circle. I’ve been asked if I worry about being cheated on or contracting an STI and why I bother dating bi men if they “all end up with other guys anyway.” I thought the rise of the hashtag #20BiTeen would help, but scrolling through the posts, I see next to no men. The only place I find any is in my datingapp DMs. So where are they?