Parental advisory
New Zealand Listener|May 18-24, 2024
A vibrant collection of essays sets out to answer one less-than-simple question: what makes a mother?
Parental advisory

It makes sense that an essay collection about feeling "on the outside looking in" concerning traditional experiences of parenthood opens with a quote from Sheila Heti's Motherhood- a book once hailed as the defining work about "voluntary childlessness". Published in 2018, Heti's book follows a nameless narrator ruminating on whether to have a child. Slowly, agonisingly, Heti peels back the layers of her protagonist, her desires, and the many ways in which society has pushed women into the moulds of compulsive motherhood. "There is," Heti writes, "something threatening about a woman who is not occupied with children... What is she going to do instead? What sort of trouble will she make?" Otherhood sets out to answer this question through a kaleidoscopic offering of 36 essays.

Conceptualised by its trio of editors, the book aims to "provide a counter argument" to common myths around childlessness, infertility and choosing other forms of care-giving. The introduction presents the driving force of these myths and a possible reason why Heti's narrator - and, in reality, the majority of people socialised as women - might face pressures about having children: "pronatalism" or "the taken-for-granted world view that having children is something you should do, and will bring life fulfilment and happiness".

More than ever, this societal pressure clashes with sinking birth rates globally. Modern society allows for more diverse life plans and circumstances that might leave people on the outside of traditional parenting roles.

This story is from the May 18-24, 2024 edition of New Zealand Listener.

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This story is from the May 18-24, 2024 edition of New Zealand Listener.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

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