I, me and myself

Why narcissism is the second-hand smoke of mental disorders

Think of the most charming, ambitious and successful, but entitled, arrogant, short-tempered and manipulative person you know. Remembered anyone instantly? Are they your friend, boss, or family member? Do you love and hate them? Congrats! You just identified a narcissist, and you are not alone: one in 16 people are manipulated by narcs.

Psychologist Dr Ramani Durvasula calls narcissism the secondhand smoke of mental disorders.

Narcs don't recognise how cancerous they are, but those around them do. Since narcs believe they are perfect, they rarely seek therapy. However, those absolutely destroyed by them consult shrinks, wondering what they did wrong.

Narcissism is named after the handsome Greek god Narcissus, who fell in love with his reflection and died from languor. Sigmund Freud introduced the term to clinical psychology in his 1914 treatise 'On Narcissism'. Robert Waelder from Freud's Psychoanalytic Society first described a narcissistic personality thus: contempt for others, intense preoccupation with self-superiority, overvaluation of cognitive abilities, and no empathy for others. While most people make moral decisions using explanations like "I must not do or think this, it is immoral or unethical; my parents taught me so", narcs think "this should not be, as it does not align with my noble personality". Psychiatrist Dr John Nemiah described narcs as individuals with unrealistic goals and insatiable craving for admiration, intolerant of imperfections in themselves and others.