History is a great lie detector

Pundits are salesman wanting you to believe their version of events

- ROB SMITH

MEN are conquerors, if this were not true, America would've never been discovered.

Admittedly, some of the things we do can fairly be described as 'stupid'. But we have to do what we have to do.

A couple weeks ago, I was in Greenwich, Connecticut. It was late evening, and I was sitting on a park bench in a lovely and lush park with an enchanting young lass. The sun was setting, and her perfume blended with the subtle, cool breezes blowing off Long Island Sound, enriching the amorous senses of your author. But suddenly, I had to get up.

I walked 50 paces and proudly peed on some city park shrubbery. The ingénue was quite puzzled. However, I had to do what I had to do - to tell Greenwich, Connecticut that I was the boss of it. Rick put Ilsa on the plane in Casablanca, this was kind of the same thing.

My son, Coleman, and I exercise our conqueror gene in multiple ways. One of which is if we see water we have to go in. Swimming in Maine when not even the natives will put their toe in the water is our way to tell the ocean, we own you, you are our bitch and we are not afraid of you.

Like I said, I don't expect you ladies to understand. Last year Coleman and I were hiking down a canyon in Southern California. When we got to the bottom, there was a lagoon with what looked like venomous snakes swimming across it. Coleman gave me a look that said "c'mon dad, let's do it," and promptly dived in. I have never been prouder of my son for doing anything stupider.

Lately, the mainstream and very liberal news media has been telling us that we are experiencing record high temperatures in their efforts to spread fear and get us to swallow the hoax of climate change.