5 ways to get better at small talk
Time|June 12, 2023
FORGET THE "DON'T TALK TO strangers" maxim you learned as a kid: brief, pleasant exchanges with people you don't know well (or at all) can enhance your happiness, mood, energy, and overall well-being.
ANGELA HAUPT
5 ways to get better at small talk

That's because small talk often promotes learning, expands your worldview, and contributes to a sense of belonging.

You can maximize these benefits by chatting up a wide range of people, research suggests. Conversing with your colleagues, barista, Uber driver, and the person surveying the ice cream aisle with you builds what's called relational diversity, which is a unique predictor of well-being.

Despite the benefits, many of us hate small talk. We often assume that the people around us aren't interested or won't like us but research indicates that we tend to underestimate how much our conversation partners enjoy our company, a phenomenon called "the liking gap." "We all have this negative voice in our heads that tells us we're not very good at this social stuff," says Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer at the University of Sussex in England and a leading researcher on the benefits of casual interactions. "But the data suggest that people actually like you more than you think they do." The more you do it, she's found, the more natural it will feel.

We asked experts to share their favorite strategies for getting better at small talk because there's only so much you can say about the weather.

1. Take advantage of "free information"

This story is from the June 12, 2023 edition of Time.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the June 12, 2023 edition of Time.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM TIMEView All
A timely thriller for a mad, mad world
Time

A timely thriller for a mad, mad world

A’70s-style paranoid thriller grounded in the partisan polarization of today

time-read
2 mins  |
December 09, 2024
Freshwater reserves
Time

Freshwater reserves

A troubling dip

time-read
1 min  |
December 09, 2024
An exuberant ode to human possibility
Time

An exuberant ode to human possibility

VERY RARELY DOES THE RIGHT MOVIE ARRIVE AT precisely the right time, at a moment when compassion is in short supply and the collective human imagination has come to feel shrunken and desiccated.

time-read
3 mins  |
December 09, 2024
Broadcasting a crisis for the world to see
Time

Broadcasting a crisis for the world to see

ON SEPT. 5, 1972, A 32-YEAR-OLD PRODUCER NAMED Geoffrey S. Mason was working in a control room for ABC Sports in Munich while 12 hostages, including several members of the Israeli Olympic delegation, were being held in a building nearby.

time-read
4 mins  |
December 09, 2024
The Power of the Peer
Time

The Power of the Peer

WITH MENTAL-HEALTH CARE IN SHORT SUPPLY, CAN REGULAR PEOPLE FILL THE GAP?

time-read
7 mins  |
December 09, 2024
QUEERING THE STORY
Time

QUEERING THE STORY

Luca Guadagnino directs Daniel Craig in an adaptation of William S. Burroughs' 1985 novella Queer

time-read
6 mins  |
December 09, 2024
Shopping under the influence
Time

Shopping under the influence

LTK CO-FOUNDER AMBER VENZ BOX SAW THE FUTURE OF RETAIL. IT TOOK YEARS FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD TO CATCH UP

time-read
10+ mins  |
December 09, 2024
The Kingmaker
Time

The Kingmaker

Elon Musk's partnership with the President-elect

time-read
10+ mins  |
December 09, 2024
Turkey's Erdogan plots his next power grab
Time

Turkey's Erdogan plots his next power grab

RECEP TAYYIP Erdogan is a political survivor.

time-read
2 mins  |
December 09, 2024
Why maiden names matter in the age of AI and identity
Time

Why maiden names matter in the age of AI and identity

IN THE DIGITAL AGE, A NAME IS MORE THAN JUST A label. It's tied to our professional history and social media presence.

time-read
2 mins  |
December 09, 2024