Vlad sub standard

VLADIMIR Putin sits down with submariners as he inspects a new Russian nuclear vessel at an Arctic naval base.

BY HECK IT'S GRIN UP NORTH

Preston boss out to put on a show at Deepdale

RIP WHSmith

SALE MEANS SHOPS LEAVE HIGH STREET

I'M LIKING LATTAM IN LINCOLN

The Grand National meeting is looming, but it’s the Flat season that takes centre stage today with the William Hill Lincoln presenting its annual puzzle for punters.

IT'S NOT MIRON IMPOSSIBLE

MIRON MUSLIC has denied Plymouth are facing mission impossible in their relegation battle.

MoD A LOAD OF RUBBISH

SECURITY chiefs have been left red-faced after \"sensitive\" Army papers were found scattered along a city street.

100 AND HATEY

The boos just fire me up says record breaker Luke

Frankenstein boffs grow body parts..

SCIENTISTS IN ORGAN FARM BID

SHIRL'S SO CHILL

SHIRLEY Ballas takes a freezing ice bath - in a canary bikini and gold heels.

Janssens a jolly

DRUIDS SAY GO (9.02) and DROOPYS PLUNGE (7.53) are two of the sport’s stars and can lead Patrick Janssens to a repeat victory at Perry Barr on Premier Greyhound Racing Trainers’ Judgement night, live on the PGR service and Gone To The Dogs – Live!

I turned to comedy after horror smash

JAMES CHOSE 'ADVENTURE' ROLE

THE GRATEFUL DUD

Pep takes positives out of misfiring season and says lessons learnt will spark City back to life

500 UP AND MARCO IS TARGETING SILVA-WARE

MARCO SILVA wants Fulham fans to keep dreaming of a first major trophy and mark his 500th game as a manager with a place in the FA Cup semi-finals.

City and Villa ready to restore some FA Cup order

THE unpredictability and magic of the FA Cup is alive and well this season.

ONLY ONE WAY UP

Pascal is desperate to dodge play-off sweat

Airport staff to strike

WORKERS who help passengers with restricted mobility at Heathrow Airport are to strike for four days in a pay row.

WADGE IN THE SENOR HOT SEAT

LUCINDA RUSSELL has given the nod to stable conditional Patrick Wadge (below) for the Grade One ride on Aintree favourite Ahoy Senor.

Botanical's all set to bloom

TODAY’S £150,000 guaranteed Placepot fund comes from Doncaster on day one of the British Flat turf season.

Eddie is cup king

NEWCASTLE skipper Bruno Guimaraes reckons Eddie Howe deserves the loudest applause when the Magpies squad parade the Carabao Cup through the Tyneside streets today.

JP opts for Cech 'helmet'

JEAN-PHILIPPE MATETA will wear a Petr Cech-style \"water polo helmet\" to protect his ear when he returns to FA Cup action.

'Simon film out of cash'

A NEW movie starring Simon Pegg has halted filming after running out of funding.

CHRIS HAS A DREAM

American legends ink-spire Wembley hopeful Richards

Harry Nazi salute is a Tuch too much

REDKNAPP FACES SPEECH BACKLASH

Fans in taxi talk booster

MOST footie fans struggle with their mental health, a study says.

POOCH PARENTS FACE HUGE BILLS

DOGS are costing their owners up to £23,000 over a lifetime as pet-care bills soar.

THE Grand Gnashnal

DENTIST: A FLUTTER CAN RUIN YOUR TEETH

Roots: It's not as hot

HOT sauce king Levi Roots says the telly show that made him famous is lacking \"punch\" now.

TAA very much you Kop legend

FANS MUST THANK TRENT IF HE LEAVES ANFIELD

Tom has one goal in mind!

SOCCER AID HOPE

BRAINIACS TAKING ON PSYCHO GULLS

Resort hotel is dive-bombed by beaky birds