CATEGORIES

WE'RE BECOMING EFFING COCKNEYS

Soap fans are aping Dyer's London lingo

Brighton early

BRIGHTON boss Fabian Hurzeler claims it is too early to contemplate whether missing out on European qualification this season would constitute failure.

JUST CHAMPION

Elliott hints star mare . . . goes for the big race

Kevin's left it too late

KEVIN DE BRUYNE cut a sad and lonely figure as he trudged off the Etihad pitch following Manchester City's 2-0 defeat to Liverpool.

ADAM AND WEAVE IT

Silky Wharton's set to start at last

Wicked Cynthia felt 'odd'

WICKED star Cynthia Erivo struggled to \"fit in\" at drama school.

Breast cancer shocker

THE number of women dying from breast cancer is set to soar by 2050.

Silva reports ref 'Robbery'

FULHAM have contacted the PGMOL after Marco Silva claimed Rob Jones' refereeing performance in their defeat to Crystal Palace was sub-standard.

ERIK FELL GOOD WAY SHORT

ERIK TEN HAG has claimed \"good was not enough\" at Manchester United in his first interview since being sacked by the Red Devils.

Football hooligan was cop

A BALACLAVA-clad footie hooligan has been revealed as a Met Police officer.

Singer Roberta dies, 88

GRAMMY-winning US singer Roberta Flack has died aged 88.

Pammie: I've still got Baywatch bod

ICONIC RED SWIMSUIT FITS.. AT 57

I'm still tempted by my reckless ex

FORMER LOVER IS BACK

Partner cocaine shame

I WAS excited when my girlfriend invited me along to a party hosted by a new friend.

Charlie's out says Musk Al

DONALD Trump would boot out King Charles if he made Britain the 51st US state, according to best pal Elon Musk's Al bot.

We're all doomed!

THERE'S always something, isn't there?

Meg Calls it a day..

MEGAN Cusack has quit Call The Midwife.

Property buyers to pay price

FIRST-time buyers could be left counting the cost if they miss the stamp duty deadline in March.

Demo's worth a few Bob

BOB Dylan's earliest demo recording is set to go under the hammer.

Scale and polish ET?

NOBODY looks forward to a trip to the dentist.

Crufts ban dog who had too waggy tail!

SHOW BARS DOCKED PET HOUND

Soldier MP: Bring back conscription

..OR WE'LL LOSE WAR IN 2030

Ebola disease in meat

BANNED \"bushmeat\" being smuggled into the UK and sold on social media could contain Ebola.

Dying on the stage

A STAGE version of Midsomer Murders is in the works.

96 FLOOD ALERTS

'Don't drive' warning as storms lash the UK

'Dirty break' cost me

I WAS thrilled when my mate invited me to stay at her house.

Hanson 'a slave to wife'

TV auctioneer Charles Hanson claims he was \"almost a slave\" to his wife.

Teen to fix UK politics

HE LAUNCHES PARTY

Starmer top chat to Don

SIR Keir Starmer will have \"very good and constructive\" talks with Donald Trump during this week's trip to Washington DC, the Security Minister said.

'50-50' to lotto crooks

A MAN whose stolen credit card was used to buy a jackpot-winning scratch-card is offering to split the cash with the thieves.