'IT FEELS LIKE THEY DON'T WANT HIM TO COME BACK TO ME'
Daily Express|September 27, 2024
Fenella Clapham on her 260-mile round trip to see her husband Brian, 76, in a care home
Sam Lister
'IT FEELS LIKE THEY DON'T WANT HIM TO COME BACK TO ME'

A DISTRAUGHT woman is having to make 260-mile trips to see her husband in a scandal that exposes the crumbling social care system.

Brian Clapham, 76, is in a care home suffering from dementia but has been placed far away from his family.

His loving wife Fenella has been battling for two years to move her husband of more than 50 years closer to their home in Essex so she can see him more regularly - but to no avail.

Despairing Fenella, 72, admitted: "It feels like they don't want him to come back to me." The couple were inseparable until Brian fell ill and was moved to a nursing home in Surrey.

Fenella, who cannot drive, travels by public transport or is taken by car by her daughter or granddaughter. She has been fighting to get Brian, who suffers from vascular dementia, transferred to be near her. She said: "I'm only able to see him every two and half or three weeks. It is killing me.

"The kids have said, 'Come on you have to perk up'. He gets so upset and he thinks I don't want him here.

"I broke down the other day. He is so far away, I can't console him." The great-grandmother of seven has been travelling the two hours from Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, to St Magnus Hospital in Haslemere, Surrey, every few weeks to visit her husband.

Their story comes as a report today warns that two million older people are not receiving the support they need after successive governments have failed to produce a plan to improve the sector. Age UK found "frightening" evidence of widespread struggles among pensioners who should be receiving help to wash and dress.

And Fenella, who used to work for mental health services, said: "I can only go and see Brian once every three weeks and it's not enough.

"We were married within six weeks and we've never been apart.

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