Rooting for Sandi's wood

One of the best ways to get yourself on TV these days, or so I'd imagine, is to offer yourself up to one of those property renovation shows. That's provided, of course, that you have no experience of renovating properties yourself.

- Mike Ward

Television loves that kind of scenario, where over-confident people insist they can do all the work themselves, then proceed to make a right pig's ear of it.

The mean-spirited part of me (yes, there really is one) will be sitting at home, watching these people, thinking: "Ha! That will teach you, smartypants." And yet I don't feel remotely that way towards the lovely couple doing up their property in a series starting tonight on C4, even though they approach it with a level of cluelessness that's frankly off the scale.