PIE & SMASH FOR CALLUM

Wilson chomps up Hammers again as Moyes despairs at defensive disasters

- MIKE WALTERS

WEST HAM 1

Zouma 40

NEWCASTLE 5

Wilson 6, 46, Joelinton 13, 90, Isak 82

CAN he play you every week?

Callum Wilson rinsed West Ham again and 12 goals in 13 meetings makes them his favourite opponents by far.

But as Newcastle strengthened their grip on a top-four finish, the Hammers were the authors of their own funeral - a sorry tale of pyre and mash.

By the time the crucifixion was over, they were right back in the quicksand with only goal difference keeping them above the drop zone and they were booed off.

Wilson's greatest hits in the East End include a hat-trick for Bournemouth at Upton Park and scoring on his Toon debut behind closed doors here.

He will never score an easier pair of goals and Newcastle will never get a better opportunity than this to finish in the top four.

Chelsea and Liverpool are miles off the pace, Tottenham are as Spursy as ever and Manchester United look as solid as soup away from home.

Champions League football would not only be a shortcut to complying with financial fair play regulations for the Toon's Saudi politburo, but it would also excite the human rights bandwagon.