ALVIN Martin was caught offside when he mistook West Ham pal Tony Gale's pile cream for toothpaste.
He used it to scrub his teeth before Tony told him it had been up his backside.
The former footballers used to room together when the Hammers were playing away in the 80s and 90s.
Sky Sports pundit Gale, 63, said: "One occasion he comes back from breakfast.
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"I said, 'Good breakfast, Alv?' and he's said, 'Yeah'.
"He then said, 'I didn't have any toothpaste, but I used yours. It's funny the brand you use mate. It's got this applicator at the end of it and I couldn't get a lather from it!
"The penny dropped. I said, 'You've used my pile cream. That applicator's been stuck up my arse."
Tony, who went on to bag a Premier League winner's medal with Blackburn, has been sharing hilarious tales from his playing days in his book That's Entertainment.

The bum's brush

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