Paris's best bistro... on Goodge Street

YOU can't have it all; not every dream is realised. Here's one I have: I'm walking in the Paris dusk and, as I do the Elvis in my leg to extinguish a cigarette dreamland, it is the city of d'you-havea-light? - I notice a bistro glowing in the gloom.

- David Ellis

64 Goodge Street

64 Goodge Street, WIT 4NF. Meal for two including drinks and service, about £220. Open Monday to Saturday, noon-2.30pm and 6pm-around midnight (last booking 9.45pm); 64goodgestreet.co.uk

The food is good, the wine is better; neither is a fortune. But of course this can never happen, because instead Paris heaves with restaurants that make me wish I'd paid more attention in my French classes, if only so I might more efficiently insult the owners. C'est la vie.

It doesn't mean I don't try with Paris, but I suspect my days of chucking back warm glasses of M&S chenin blanc in the Channel Tunnel are over. What would be the point? Last week I found out Fitzrovia has thoroughly outfoxed the French. Although, let's be clear, Le Beaujolais off Charing Cross Road has long had their wine bars licked.