Why are people wearing Dryrobes so annoying?

EVER since the heady days of lockdown, I have noticed a troubling phenomenon creeping into everyday life: a spike in the number of people extravagantly sticking "wild" in front of the word swimming. Essentially, wild swimming is exactly the same thing as normal swimming, but much more smug, and with a greater risk of accidental sewage inhalation.

- El Hunt

And, predictably, despite the fact that going for a quick dip in a nearby body of water is essentially a free activity, all of the associated wild swimming clobber continues to gain popularity, too. Most notorious of all? The changing robe: a vast hooded poncho with a towelled interior for wild swimmers and other fans of aquatic activities to don post-dunk.

The most popular changing robe of all, Dryrobe, has morphed from a niche hobbyist's garment into a musthave item. Originally invented by North Devon surfer Gideon Bright, the tent-like cloak is based on a makeshift coat Bright's mother made to keep him warm after surfing sessions as a child; the very first Dryrobe went on sale in 2010, and the brand is now booming.