Trump says he loves Canada, but it should not exist

"We will win!" Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer chanted at a rally last month protesting Elon Musk's US DOGE Service infiltrating Treasury Department payments systems.

- Richard Hall, The Independent

It's rare for threats of annexation to be delivered with a smile. But in the Oval Office on Thursday afternoon, Donald Trump repeated his intention to eliminate Canada from the map and occupy Greenland with the same casualness that one might order lunch.

"I love Canada. I love the people of Canada. I have many friends in Canada - the great one, Wayne Gretzky, the Great. How good is Wayne Gretzky? He's the great one. I know many people from Canada that are good friends of mine," Trump said with a smirk, before explaining why the country shouldn't exist anymore.

"Canada only works as a state," he went on.

"If you look at a map, they drew an artificial line right through it, between Canada and the US, just a straight artificial line. Somebody did it a long time ago - many, many, decades ago, and makes no sense. It's so perfect as a great and cherished state." It was not all bad news for Canadians, however. In this terrible vision of the future imagined for them, presumably after a brutal insurgency by the Royal Mounties has been crushed in the Canadian Rockies, and after millions have fled to become refugees in other parts of the Commonwealth, Trump promised that those left behind could keep their national anthem - but as a state anthem. "O Canada,' the national anthem. I love it. I think it's great. Keep it, but it will be for the state, one of our greatest states, maybe our greatest state," Trump continued.