'IF YOU WERE 30% BRAVER, what would you do to be a better ancestor?" An enthusiastic facilitator posed this icebreaker to a roomful of delegates in New York, gathered for a conference on democracy. "Take 60 seconds to think and share your answers in your small groups."
My small group consisted of seasoned activists from different parts of the world. They were eager to discuss their opinions on courage and legacy. "I'd spend more time with my kids," said one. "I would speak to people I disagree with more often," said another. I kept quiet hoping no one would notice.
"You're being quiet," said one of them when everyone else had spoken. My small group turned to me.
"Oh, I don't know. It's a difficult question." I tried to get myself out of the trap. "I need more time to think about it."
The thing is, I didn't need time to think about it. My answer was right there, staring me in the face. Now that my small group was staring at me just as insistently, I couldn't face sharing my thoughts with them. It seemed like I needed to be 30% braver just to utter the answer.
"If I were braver, to be a better ancestor, I'd join the army. The Ukrainian armed forces."
At that moment, it was the only answer that rang true.
My response was met with the sort of uncomfortable silence I seem to bring to most social conversations. A friend has found a good term for that: a Ukrainian killjoy. It applies to those of us who keep talking about the war when people want to talk about their kids, the future and all those wonderful things that give us hope. Sometimes, we don't even need to offer a digest of Russia's recent bombardments, we end conversations just by entering the room.
This story is from the February 02, 2024 edition of The Guardian Weekly.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the February 02, 2024 edition of The Guardian Weekly.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
If kids get protected from online harm, how about the rest of us?
The Australian government has proposed a ban on social media for all citizens under 16.
'It's not drought - it's looting'
Spain is increasingly either parched or flooded - and one group is profiting from these extremes: the thirsty multinational companies forcing angry citizens to pay for water in bottles.
Life in the grey Zone
Neonatal care has advanced so far that babies born as early as 21 weeks have survived. But is this type of care always the right thing to do?
Out of tune? Band Aid under fire for Africa tropes as it turns 40
Forty years ago this month, a group of pop stars gathered at a west London studio to record a single that would raise millions, inspire further starry projects, and ultimately change charity fundraising in the UK.
Deaths shine spotlight on risks of drinking on party trail
Vang Vieng is an unlikely party hub. Surrounded by striking limestone mountains and caves in central Laos, it morphed from a small farming town to a hedonistic tourist destination in the early 2000s.
Different strokes My strange and emotional week with an AI pet
Moflin can develop a personality and build a rapport with its owner - and doesn't need food or exercise. But is it comforting or alienating?
Strike zone Waking up to the rising threat of lightning
When the Barbados National Archives, home to one of the world's most significant collections of documents from the transatlantic slave trade, reported in June that it had been struck by lightning, it received sympathy and offers of support locally and internationally.
Cheap pints and sticky carpets: the old-school pub is back
In the Palm Tree pub, east London, barman Alf is taking only cash at the rattling 1960s till.
Brain gain Can a radical tax scheme convince the country's brightest to stay?
In the autumn of 2018, I moved to Lisbon for a month-long course at the Universidade .de Lisboa.
Fear and sympathy in small town divided over asylum camp
A year after anti-immigration riots, a site for asylum seekers faces hostility while some locals try to help new arrivals
