Now the bad news. In just a few days' time, either Kemi Kaze or Honest Bob will become the new Tory leader and you will get yet more white noise from one of them. Most likely Kemi.
There are very few people who actually care who becomes leader of the opposition. Not even the Tories are that bothered. Partly because the choice is so dismal, but mainly because they suspect it's merely a temporary appointment. Give it a couple of years and they'll be going through the whole process again.
The only two people who don't seem to be aware of their own existential futility are Badenoch and Jenrick.
In an act of sadism towards their audiences, radio and TV stations have been giving blanket coverage to whatever drifts across both Kemi Kaze and Honest Bob's synapses. Rather than proving that eventually one of them might say something vaguely coherent, there's been a race to the bottom.
This story is from the October 30, 2024 edition of The Guardian.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the October 30, 2024 edition of The Guardian.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Captains Stokes and Buttler sign new central contracts
England's two men's captains, Ben Stokes and Jos Buttler, have both signed new two-year central contracts.
Canadian judge halts medically assisted death of woman in rare injunction
A British Columbia judge has issued a rare, last-minute injunction barring a woman from accessing euthanasia after physicians in her home province refused to approve the request.
Spain in mourning as death toll from catastrophic floods rises to more than 150
The death toll from devastating floods in eastern Spain has risen to more than 150, regional authorities and emergency services have said, as the country began three days of mourning and the prime minister, Pedro Sánchez, urged people to stay at home.
Middlesex urged to review culture and behaviour
Middlesex County Cricket Club should undertake a formal review of its culture, governance and the behaviour of staff members, according to the sport's regulator.
'Angry' Spurs passing test of mettle hints at prosperous future
Home fans almost expected Tottenham to blow a 2-0 lead over Manchester City. The victory could prove cathartic
“The soap opera is ending” Amorim makes ambition clear after he agrees United deal
Rúben Amorim says he has to \"prove something\" after agreeing to become Manchester United's head coach.
Van Nistelrooy accepts his short stint as leading man
Dutchman hopes his interim role will be the first step in 'helping the club move forward' for new manager
Forest owner Marinakis sues Greek rival over alleged smears
Nottingham Forest's owner, Evangelos Marinakis, is suing a Greek football rival for more than £2.1m in a high court libel claim over an alleged \"smear campaign\", including \"false\" allegations of match-fixing.
Draper runs out of steam as breakout year concludes
It was not until 10 pm on Wednesday night that Jack Draper finally returned to the locker room after his tenacious victory over the world No 6 Taylor Fritz.
Hamilton says Verstappen has not changed reckless style
Lewis Hamilton maintains Max Verstappen has continued with an unacceptable driving style since the pair vied for the world championship in 2021.
