Keir styles it out at launch of his opaque manifesto

“So let me be crystal clear,” said Keir Starmer – six words that make wise voters start counting their spoons.

- JOE MURPHY

But it was a case of never mind the detail, feel the buzz, as hundreds of activists, MPs, peers and the odd celeb packed into a brightly lit foyer to hear a soon-to-be PM set out his manifesto.

And there it was in all its shiny, promising, glossy freshness: 23,000 words of carefully honed opacity over 131 pages, 33 carrying pictures of Starmer himself.

The cover: a huge portrait of Mr Darcy in his shirtsleeves, about to take a dip. No mention of Labour, just the word “Change” in red letters. Like the Beatles after Rubber Soul, this artist is too big to need its name on the product. Inside, snaps of Keir meeting business leaders, Keir chatting with nurses, Keir shaking hands with Volodymyr Zelensky on D-Day. Message: you’re voting not for a party, but for a man.

A roar went up as Starmer emerged from the wings, his sleeves rolled up, looking just like the cover photo. Lost a cufflink, Sir Keir? But there was nothing spontaneous here: those sleeves had been ironed after they were rolled up, forming crisp hospital corners around his forearms.

As usual, there were multiple introduction speeches, including from Iceland boss Richard Walker, until recently on the Tory candidates list, and Nathaniel Dye, the astonishingly brave science teacher stricken with terminal cancer.