Murals, toys and peace: life in a domestic abuse refuge
The Independent|September 19, 2024
Every day people walk past an unassuming, plain house in Surrey with no idea that it is home to domestic abuse victims at risk of murder if they remain living with their abusers.
MAYA OPPENHEIM
Murals, toys and peace: life in a domestic abuse refuge

Shelters for survivors of domestic violence – known as refuges – are scattered all over the UK, but they remain invisible and forgotten places. This is partly because they are in secret locations with strict security measures, but also because many people simply do not know they exist.

Stepping through the door, inside it is peaceful and hopeful; you can almost hear the women collectively sighing with relief after finally reaching their freedom. But undercutting all this is a definite tinge of sadness. Some of the survivors I encounter almost appear to be in a state of shock that they have escaped the cruelty and chaos of their abuser.

But sadly, getting a space in a refuge isn’t easy. A chronic national shortage of places means people in desperate need of help are routinely turned away. Shocked by the shortfall and moved to do something to help, The Independent launched its Brick by Brick campaign in partnership with leading domestic abuse charity Refuge to raise £300,000 to build a house for women escaping abusive partners.

Be a brick, buy a brick and donate here or text BRICK to 70560 to donate £15

Being inside this refuge feels like a parallel universe – a secret place hidden away in the suburbs.

Spacious, serene and secret

The building is spacious and clean, with walls adorned with colourful murals and rousing messages. The spacious garden has a technicolour climbing frame and slide. Outside, kids play while a woman rolls a cigarette. Inside, another woman catches up with a friend who used to live there but has now moved to a more independent refuge.

Emma Armstrong, chief executive of I Choose Freedom, which runs 12 domestic abuse refuges across Surrey, tells me: “We offer safe accommodation and a path to freedom for somebody that is suffering from domestic abuse.”

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