My girlfriends and I are at that age where we're reviewing plans for the next 30 to 40 years we have left, and what sort of legacy we'd like to leave behind.
For me, the issue hit home a few months ago when the officer dealing with my CPF query asked if I'd nominated a beneficiary for the funds in my soon-to-be retirement account. My knee-jerk reaction was to think of my husband, who's 11 years older than me, and my mother, who's 86. I was stumped trying to come up with a suitable person who is younger than me.
So I turned to my peers for answers.
Who were they leaving their money to, especially if they don't have children? How do they decide who's in and who's out? And can we defy our natural instinct to put others first, by spending it all on ourselves instead?
In the course of our discussions, I learnt several things.
My first lesson: Even the kindest, most generous aunties morph into hard-nosed gangsters when it comes to their bequests.
"I'm not letting some gold-digging stranger enjoy the money I've worked so hard for," remarked a colleague.
She was referring to her plan to leave part of her savings to her nephew and niece, on condition the two teenagers "grow up to be nice adults and marry nice people". I didn't ask for her definition of "nice". But I'm pretty sure being money-grabbing layabouts disqualifies them.
My chief financial officer friend takes the same pragmatic approach. Two favoured nephews will inherit, but not others of the same generation. Her reasoning? Some will be beneficiaries of their wealthy parents anyway. Plus she's not close to, or doesn't have any affection for, the rest.
But shouldn't she be fair and distribute her assets equally among all of them?
"Of course not," she scoffed. "It's my money, I can do what the (expletive) I like with it."
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