<div>
<p id="1">What&rsquo;s happening with young men in India, as more women move out of the allotted gender roles, bears deep examination. Men, who feel entitled to these services, act out their entitlement. It often takes the familiar form of retributive violence &ndash; in Aurangabad, a male graduate student set himself and his fellow student ablaze in their professor&rsquo;s office, because she rejected his proposal. More often, it is simply the inability to see women as people with wills and desires of their own, who exist for themselves and not to serve men&rsquo;s needs. In Karnataka, young farmers are requesting a ban on inter-district marriage, because the women around them are seeking better prospects and wider horizons. Those who fight inter-faith or inter-caste relationships assume that women are docile dupes, property to be safeguarded by &lsquo;their&rsquo; men.</p>
<p id="3">This thinking is bone-deep in our society, expressed by some women too. Violence against women is also processed through this lens. Attacks like intimate partner rape or abuse that are far more widespread but less socially &lsquo;shameful&rsquo; than street and&nbsp;stranger crime provoke less outrage. Our institutions mirror this mentality. Police investigations turn their glare on the woman who is victimised, judges ask women to marry their rapists or make assumptions about what is expected of a wife, or discipline them for not being &lsquo;pure&rsquo; and compliant fem-bots.</p>
<p id="5">It&rsquo;s alarmingly evident what harm this kind of thinking has wrought. Most men are schooled into power and dominance, taught to be ashamed of ordinary vulnerability. They pretend otherwise and displace their inability to live up to these norms of manliness into contempt and cruelty &ndash; the targets can be women or other different people or those socially worse-off than them. An increasing number of women are questioning this order, seeking their own freedom in education, employment and life. Men, who don&rsquo;t see that a system set up to serve them is harming them, lash out in confusion and rage at women. The future will change only when boys do.</p>
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Boys Can't Be Boys

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