Doughty Larry. They call him the &lsquo;boss&rsquo; at 10 Downing Street, the British PM&rsquo;s official residence. Prowling the corridors of (transient) power for 11 years now, he&rsquo;s &lsquo;chief mouser to the cabinet office&rsquo;. Some cattily claim he&rsquo;s pussy-llanimous, lacking a mouseassassin&rsquo;s killer instincts. Others insist he&rsquo;s Truss-ted, doing his job better than Liz did hers. Ask the fox this hipcat likes chasing.
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At No. 10, nothing lasts fur-ever. Yet the meow-fia don&rsquo;s outstayed David Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson and Liz. Unlike Macavity of TS Eliot&rsquo;s poem, &lsquo;mystery cat&rsquo; who&rsquo;s never there on a cat-burgled scene, Larry&rsquo;s omnipresent. When new PM Rishi Sunak took the podium outside No. 10, Larry was papped nearby, surveying the ritual&rsquo;s replay with feline inscrutability.
Writer Margaret Atwood attributed &lsquo;Houdini eyes&rsquo; to cats, an animal ancient Egyptians and catwalkers&rsquo; king Karl Lagerfeld adored. If a cat&rsquo;s contemplative gaze astonished poet Baudelaire, its unreadable stare made philosopher Derrida feel&nbsp;self-consciously naked. Did Larry looking on without letting on also unnerve No. 10&rsquo;s musical chair-holders and rug-pullers?
No. 10&rsquo;s hissing link, Larry sure made BoJo re-examine his Conservative Party, post lockdown-defying parties. Leaving office,
BoJo had suggested if Larry could bury co-existential &lsquo;difficulties&rsquo; with Dilyn, the ex-PM&rsquo;s dog, why not Tories with Tories? Rishi, BoJo&rsquo;s alleged &lsquo;backstabber&rsquo;, recently played copycat, asking partymen to &lsquo;unite or die&rsquo;.
Philosopher John Gray says cats don&rsquo;t &lsquo;live in an imagined future&rsquo;. If only Liz hadn&rsquo;t imagined that back-to-the-future of Thatcherite glory with a tax-slashing mini-budget that spooked investors and made Rishi the cat&rsquo;s whiskers. As Gray observes, felines live in the present, purrfectly content. Whereas humans are &lsquo;restless&rsquo;, &lsquo;anxious&rsquo;. Doubly so, one imagines, if as fifth PM in six years you&rsquo;re staring down a &pound;35 billion fiscal crater.
Will any spending cuts make Larry forego heavy breakfasts, emulating his fatcat but fitness-conscious boss? Will &lsquo;having a cat&rsquo; be heavily taxed, as cultural critic Slavoj Zizek once advocated? All&rsquo;s uncertain.
Last yowled, Larry&rsquo;s finding civil service claws-trophobic. He&rsquo;s done stalking mice and men. Electoral paw-litics may be the last refuge of tubby tabbies. But, with nine lives and myriad Twitter (potential-voter) fans, he&rsquo;s thinking of changing his stripes. On popular &lsquo;Larry for PM&rsquo; demand.
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Tom, Dick... or Larry?

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