Why many Shraddhas get stuck in toxic relationships

Rather than pointing fingers at the victim, experts say it's important to understand the complexities of intimate partner violence

- Mohua Das

The news cycle this past week has been dominated by the gruesome killing of 26-year-old Shraddha Walkar by her live-in partner Aaftab Poonawala, 28, who strangled her, cut her up into 35 pieces, stored them in a refrigerator and went on with life until he fessed up over drinks with a friend.

While the killing has sparked a debate about the impact of true crime shows, dating apps and inter-faith relationships, its roots perhaps lie in how abusive their three-year-old relationship was right from the start when Aaftab, a chef turned food blogger and Shraddha, a call centre employee, met in 2019 and decided to move into an apartment together in Mumbai.

One can get a glimpse into their stormy inner life from accounts of their friends who witnessed their fights and how Aaftab would often "abuse and beat" Shraddha. If one friend spoke of seeing bruises on her several times, another described how Shraddha "feared for her life". They say, she wanted to leave but couldn't because "he had too much influence on her" and would "threaten her with suicide". Their trip to Himachal Pradesh earlier this year was about giving their "turbulent" live-in relationship a "last shot".

What followed soon after is now a viral tale of horror. But even as details continue to tumble out, the Shraddha-Aaftab case is an eerie snapshot of the many Shraddhas stuck in abusive relationships until such 'intimate partner violence' aggravates into 'intimate partner homicide', with the act of killing being the worst possible outcome of a consistently toxic relationship.

All too often the spotlight is on an equally toxic question that dogs most battered women who keep going back to the same man- "why doesn't she just leave?"