I HAD TAKEN TO WRITING MY DAUGHTER'S OBITUARY, revising it week after week. It usually cropped up during a run, as if the movement jarred the sentences loose from the dark place where I hid my fears.
Shea was a witty, big-hearted kid who loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer, old-time game shows, and vamping on stage. At our courthouse wedding she was the official witness, our marriage certificate bearing her loopy signature. During a trip to Los Angeles, we watched with pride as she bravely approached Owen Wilson in a Venice Beach bookstore to ask for an autograph.
But then I'd get stuck. All these sepia-toned memories were of her as a child. I'd struggle to conjure anything meaningful from the previous 10 years. Where was that impish blond-haired girl who loved to draw and silly-dance to TV theme songs, who didn't care what people thought?
That kid had been replaced by someone I no longer recognized-a stranger as thin as a coatrack, with vacant eyes and sores hidden beneath thick makeup. Addicted to heroin and fentanyl. At 25.
I still couldn't believe it. Shea used to be terrified of needles. She used to be a lot of things-a soccer player, a prankster, someone who sang in the shower. Now I didn't know where she was or who she was with. I expected a pair of stone-faced cops to knock on our door any day. I couldn't think where we would bury her.
The only thing of Shea's that I could reach out and touch was her 3-year-old dog, Hank, a 30-pound mutt who was now living with us. I started running with him at the nearby Middlesex Fells Reservation a few times a week after a particularly low point in Shea's journey.
This story is from the Fall 2024 edition of Runner's World US.
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This story is from the Fall 2024 edition of Runner's World US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
TO RUN 26.2 IS TO FEEL ALIVE
THE SUN IS rising from the east, and the waves of the Pacific crash below to the west.
LEAVE IT UP TO A PIECE OF PAPER TO TEACH YOU TO RUN EASY
BEFORE I FELL for running, I thought the hardest thing about the sport was the fast stuff: the speedwork, the sprints, and the intervals.
WHY-AND HOW-YOU SHOULD RUN DOUBLES
Those are just a few of the titles entered into my training log for the second run of a day.
FIND YOUR RUNNING COMMUNITY, ONLINE OR IN PERSON
I SIGNED UP for my first marathon while sobbing in the back of a rideshare, on my way to the airport to fly to my uncle's funeral.
FUEL WITH WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT
AS AN ULTRARUNNER, I'm all too familiar with the saying that long-distance running is an \"eating contest with a running component.\"
AT THE FERTILITY CLINIC, MY PAST CAUGHT UP WITH ME
I SAT IN the fertility doctor's office white walls, bare wooden desk, opaque window-alone.
THIS IS NOT AN ESCAPE STORY
AT 15, DARLENE STUBBS WALKED AWAY FROM A POLYGAMOUS CULT-THEN DISCOVERED A NEW LIFE AND COMMUNITY THROUGH RUNNING.
RUNNING WITH HANK
How my daughter's rambunctious mutt saved my sanity while she was lost to the darkness.
WHEN I FOUND OUT I HAD MS.I THOUGHT I'D NEVER RUN AGAIN.
I checked the pins on my bib, shimmied my spandex shorts into place, and teed up the stopwatch on my wrist.
A RUNNER'S GUIDE to sleep
Nike rocked the running world in 2018 when it released the Vaporfly 4%, claiming that the shoe could boost a runner's efficiency by that amount.
