Something To Celebrate

All wanted for Christmas was for my husband's family to be reunited...

THE teeth grinned at me from the case in the museum - a fine set. I was on a school trip with my class of seven-year-olds a few days before the end of the Christmas term and we were halfway through our tour.

"And this item," the guide said, "is a most remarkable set of false teeth, made two centuries ago.

"They're made out of ivory and something else.

Who can guess?" "Plastic?" one of my pupils asked.

The guide smiled.

"Not invented yet.

Anyone else? No?" "Are they perhaps real teeth?" I asked.

"They are indeed!" the guide said. "From fallen soldiers at the battle of Waterloo, no less." "Wow!" one child said.

"Soldiers!" another said.

"But how did they get them?" a third said. "How did they take them out?" The guide ran his fingers round the neck of his collar.

"Well." He glanced at me, "It's a bit gruesome...

"It's fine," I said. "You have my permission - the gorier the better for seven-year-olds." 27 The guide rubbed his hands.

"Well, this is how it probably happened.

After soldiers had been killed at the Battle of Waterloo, when the French and the British fought each other..." "When was that?" a voice piped up.

"It was 1815. Good question!" the guide said.

After another glance in my direction, he went on to explain the somewhat gruesome methods by which the teeth had been collected from the poor French and British soldiers to be used together to make sets of dentures.

If I'm being completely honest, the commentary made me feel a bit queasy, but the children were drinking it all in with gusto.

On the way back to school in the coach, the kids belted out "Jingle Bells" until the driver yelled, "Any chance of a bit of 'Peace on Earth'? Finding it hard to concentrate." I turned round.