'I haven't STOPPED dancing yet'

Louise Cabral, 56, explains how her MS diagnosis at 30 has made her live life to the full

- TANYA PEAREY

Every week as I arrive for my dance class at London's Royal Ballet School, I can't help but smile. Who'd have thought I'd finally get the chance to move within these hallowed walls, learning with a world-renowned choreographer? But here I am - and it's not despite my multiple sclerosis, but because of it.

The Royal Ballet School is collaborating with the MS Society to offer the opportunity to train with the school, culminating in a groundbreaking performance this month. And I'm part of that.

I've always been passionate about dance. I started at the age of six with ballet and tap. Later I included other forms, like ballroom and Latin, but ballet was my favourite. Even as an adult I'd look forward to classes, performances and practising at home.

First symptoms

However, in my mid 20s, I started noticing slight changes in my stability, and some numbness in my toes. In class, I'd struggle with balance. A friend's cousin had MS, and a part of me knew that what I was experiencing were potential symptoms, but I ignored the changes, terrified of facing up to what the reality might be.

My husband Warren is from Bermuda and we were living there at the time. We'd met at the University of Oxford and gone to Bermuda to work - him in law and me as a dance critic. But after our son, Guy, was born when I was 30, the symptoms became impossible to ignore.

My balance got worse and I had foot drop (where you have difficulty lifting the front part of your foot), often a sign of nerve problems. I also developed intense depression and anxiety. I couldn't stop crying and I was so anxious about everything - whether the baby was OK, whether I could cope - I couldn't leave the house. I stopped eating and started selfharming. Dark thoughts overwhelmed me, and I believed Warren and Guy would be better off if I wasn't around.