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Excluded from close friend's party

Q We live next door to another family with children the same age as ours. The kids play regularly with each other, and my children think of the neighbour's children as close friends. One of the next-door children is having a birthday party, and my son hasn't been invited. They go to different schools and they've invited their boy's class. My neighbour says they didn't want my son to feel left out, not knowing all the boys, so thought it best not to invite him. He is six, and my son will be so sad when he hears them all playing next door. Lynne, Brighton

A It sounds like your neighbour has made a decision based on her assumptions of how her own son would react. I'm sure they don't want to hurt your son or exclude him. I suggest you have a word with your neighbour and explain your thinking. Maybe you could come too and be an adult helper, so he has someone there. Most people are delighted to have some help. If she says no, you'll have to explain this to your son. You could go out for the day and do something fun, so he isn't watching what is going on next door.

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