See Yourself In A Different Light

With Their Narrative Potential, Self-Portraits Can Allow You To Explore Personal Desires In Paint While Improving Your Practice, Says Artist Roxana Halls.

- Roxana Halls

In director Alexander Sokurov’s recent cinematic hymn to The Louvre, Francofonia, there is a scene where the camera considers the extraordinary portraits which grace its walls. In this moment the film’s narrator poses the following question: “Who would I be, had I never seen the eyes of those who lived before me?”.

As an artist who has often used myself as a subject, I am drawn to the self-portraits of some of the great artists I return to for inspiration and guidance. Some are so intense in their execution that it is hard to resist the idea that we are staring far beneath the layers of paint. As an artist, there are moments when I’ve wondered who I might be had I not studied their gaze and hoped for some disclosure of their knowledge. But beyond such speculation, when we paint ourselves, what are we really searching for? The fact is that to make use of our reflection is a pragmatic choice, free and available to ourselves as we are. But what might we look for beyond the planes and hues of one’s face?

The artist Philip Guston wrote that ‘when painting a self-portrait, you are testing the boundaries of what might be possible in ways you would not do with anyone else’. The making of a self-portrait has always afforded me a unique opportunity. As much as it enabled me as a young artist to work undisturbed, it quickly developed to become a site of uncompromising experimentation, a declaration of intent or a place for intimate revelation. So, with the practice of self-portraiture, what may seem like a practical necessity can be a liberating creative opportunity. We are permanently available to ourselves, we have absolute freedom to paint as we please.