Indirect Communication

How to build harmonious relationships?

- Babita Chopra

I recently met my batchmates from college at a Common friend's marriage. A few of them had gotten engaged and had come with their fiancées. The newly engaged ones were introducing their partners and excitedly sharing their courtship period experiences. One of our friends, DJ, enthusiastically shared that he gave 25 gifts to his fiancée on their first month engagement anniversary! We all complimented his fiancée for getting such a darling husband-to-be. Another friend Shaina introduced her fiancé saying, “Everybody is not as creative and loving as DJ! He gifted her 25 presents, but here, getting one gift is a big task! Guys, meet my big tasker, my macho man Ricky!”

Hearing this, an uneasy silence prevailed in the air. Was this a compliment or a complaint? Suddenly the atmosphere changed and we all were sheepishly looking at each other, not knowing how to react. Of course Ricky was the worst affected!

“Ridicule is man's most potent weapon.” says Saul Alinsky.

The person who suffers this feels insulted, the pride is hurt and they feel diminished in someway. Especially in a married life, the complaints should never seem like you are ridiculing your partner. Your relationships with your partner or spouse has to be one of the most intimate and private relationship in your life. If something is lacking in your relationship, it is your partner who deserves to know it and not some other person.