‘I wanted a baby – without a man'

Desperate to be a mum, but single and nearing 40, Michelle St Fleur decided to go it alone

- KIRSTEN JONES

Michelle, an IT senior sales support worker, 45, from Hertfordshire now has a three-year-old daughter, Lois. Here she shares her emotional journey to solo motherhood…

Sitting at home, alone and feeling anxious, my phone buzzes into life. I snatch it from the sofa and answer with a nervous, “Hello?” It’s the nurse from the egg-freezing clinic.

I hold my breath, hoping for the best, but it’s not good news. “We can’t treat you here because your fertility is so low. If you want a family, you should get a wriggle on or consider egg donation.”

I’m stunned, cheeks flushed like she’s slapped me in the face. I’m 38 and this is my last chance. Without a man, I can’t be a mum. My biological clock is ticking loudly.

Becoming a mum was always a dream of mine, but I’d been waiting for my moment. I’d spent my 20s as a free spirit, partying with friends and enjoying holidays abroad. Craving independence, I moved out at 17 and owned a house in Hertfordshire at 30. I had a good job as an IT sales account manager, but realised there was something missing from my life.

I was ready to meet a man, settle down and have a family – but the older I got, the harder it was to meet someone who felt the same way. My last proper relationship was in 2013, when I was 37. Months later,my mum died and it threw my life in the air. I was grieving and our relationship just fizzled out.