RETHINK THE BLAME GAME

Letting off steam is healthy, if you tackle disagreements in the right way

- MICHELLE MARTIN

Let’s face it – we’re a nation addicted to watching other people arguing. The return of Love Island next month will have us glued to all the latest fallouts and bust-ups. After all, Faye and Teddy’s fiery fight in the villa last summer sparked a record 25,000 Ofcom complaints.

When it comes to our own problems, some of us take the royal family’s “stiff upper lip” approach – if we ignore something for long enough, perhaps it’ll disappear. Just look at the supposed ongoing feud between Princes Harry and William.

Others, like the Kardashians, seem to revel in confrontation. Who can forget the infamous “slap-gate”, when Kim and Kourtney’s bickering became so heated it turned physical?

Arguments happen easily, but when not dealt with properly, they can lead to simmering tensions and grudges that can last for a long time. Relationship expert Neil Wilkie, founder of online couples therapy platform The Relationship Paradigm, says that feuds, whether between family, friends or partners are often triggered by a minor incident.

“The origins of the argument tend to fester and grow, leading to people getting into ‘defence’ mode, which quickly escalates the row,” he says. “It’s fight, flight or freeze time – freeze being where the blood supply to the brain and ears is reduced, and the ability to listen and understand is compromised.”

Here, Neil reveals six ways that you can have a healthy argument and tackle any disputes more effectively.

1. CHOOSE YOUR TIME WISELY