TAKING THE LEAD

Five years after her husband’s death, Facebook’s COO Sheryl Sandberg talks about finding love again and why, after romance blossomed, she was determined to help pop the question

- ELEANOR MILLS

WITH her first book she taught women to Lean In and support each other. And with her second, Sheryl Sandberg offered a road map to others coping with death and bereavement. It was titled Option B – because option A, being with her husband, was no longer possible.

Dave Goldberg (47) died of a heart attack while they were holidaying in Mexico in 2015, leaving Sheryl a widow. Although she was bereft, she knew she had to soldier on for the sake of their two kids. So with her trademark pluck, Facebook’s chief operating officer decided to “kick the s**t out of option B”.

And now, five years on, Sheryl (50) is using her new romance to encourage women to shape their own destinies. She beams as she begins to tell me about her engagement to Tom Bernthal – CEO of a consulting firm and a former TV producer – which happened the week before we met earlier this year.

“When Tom and I were getting engaged, we planned the weekend together,” she says. She then reveals that her new love, whom she met at a family bar mitzvah, is a great friend of her late husband’s brother, Rob.

“It was really important to me that we planned how we were going to get engaged together. We talked about that ‘surprise me, propose’ model, but this is one of the biggest decisions you’re ever going to make.”

Sheryl shakes her head. “Why, in 2020, do we still have men surprising women, and women waiting for men to ask and not bringing up marriage themselves? I can’t tell you how many conversations I have with the most fabulous young women who are, like, ‘I’m not going to bring up marriage with my boyfriend’.” She strikes the table in emphasis. “Why not bring it up if you want it?”