TO THE WIFE OF MY LOVER

For two years Ingrid had an affair with a married man. This is her open letter to Estelle, his spouse of two decades

IT’S a story as old as the hills: woman falls for married man and then spends years of her life sneaking around in the hope that he’ll eventually leave his wife.

But although we often hear from the person who’s been cheated on and feels betrayed, we seldom get to hear the perspective of “the other woman”, as she’s known.

Having spent two years living on lies and empty promises, Ingrid* from Centurion, Gauteng, believes it’s a story that deserves to be heard.

And that’s why she’s writing this open letter to Estelle*, the wife of her lover, André*.

She hopes it will serve as a cautionary tale to save other women a whole lot of needless heartache.

DEAR Estelle,

If I could turn back time, I’d never have joined your husband for a drink that first time he invited me. I’d never have opened my front door the first time he knocked on it.

But by that point I was already besotted with him.

We work together. One morning, he was in a meeting in the conference room. I was near the coffee machine. Our eyes locked.

Estelle, I didn’t know he was married. Back then, I didn’t even know what his name was.

But later we started chatting via email and one Wednesday afternoon he invited me for a drink after work.

I had butterflies in my stomach. It felt like when I was a student, when my boyfriend and I could talk all night into the early hours of the morning. That’s the way your husband and I started talking. Seven hours felt like one hour.