The Issue With Being The 'Cool Girlfriend'

Meet ‘micro-ing’, the relationship habit you haven’t heard of but are probably doing.

- Julia Pugachevsky

Your new partner is amazing, except for one thing. Their texts are always on a three-hour delay, which makes you shame-spiral every time you send a joke that doesn’t get an instant LOL. It bothers you, but you’re not about to ruin date night by bringing it up. And you’re afraid that your sensitivity might sabotage this great thing you two have.

As maddening as this dilemma is, almost every woman has micro-ed her feelings at some point in a relationship. It’s the subconscious move of shrinking your (very real) emotions in order to keep the peace with bae or for the conscious tactic of posing as the cool, unfazed girlfriend. Either way, while refusing to ‘nitpick’ can sound aspirational, it often turns out to be anything but.