Balancing Act
ELLE Australia|May 2020
FORMER COMPETITIVE RUNNER SUSAN* REFLECTS ON THE SHIFT THAT OCCURRED WHEN HER BODY LET HER DOWN WHILE SHE WAS AT HER STRONGEST, THREATENING TO DERAIL HER DREAMS OF STARTING A FAMILY
Balancing Act

You hear women say that they knew, deep down, something was wrong with their body. But that was never the case for me. During my teens and early twenties, I had no issues with my body. I had regular periods, pretty good body image and even my relationship with food was straightforward.

When I graduated from university and felt the effects of too many years focused on having a good time, I started running. At first it was recreational. Then as I became leaner, I also became faster. Soon, I was competing in half-marathons and starting to really enjoy how it felt to be strong and fast. I guess at that point a shift occurred, and I started to think more like an athlete. I was winning races and got a coach.

It was around this period that my longtime boyfriend, Toby*, proposed. I could not have felt better or been happier. I was 25 and on top of the world. People would occasionally ask me – in that way they do when you’re dedicated to exercise – if I was taking care of myself. Then there was the more probing question from family: “Are you getting regular periods?” The answer was always yes. Sure, I was on the pill and vaguely understood that it was creating a cycle for me, but the truth was my system was running like clockwork. In my mind, that was healthy.

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