The Art Of Saying No, In Love, Life, And Limbo

What happens when you lack the ability to SAY NO? Whether because of Fear, Guilt Or Expectation, many of us struggle with establishing clear boundaries. BUT doing so is actually a crucial part of self-care

- Chelsea Tang

It was a whirlwind romance that took off during their university days. He’d set his eye on her, been immediately smitten and had been enthusiastic in his wooing. Relentless texts became numerous can-I-take-you-out requests, and eventually, she caved in and went on a dinner date.

That dinner turned into many more meals together, and soon culminated in a classic date activity: the movies. There, shrouded in darkness, he plucked up his courage and made the move to hold her hand. She didn’t resist, and he thought his persistence had paid off, and that he’d earned her unspoken agreement to be his girlfriend.

Except that she’d desperately wanted out. Chloe* knew deep down that she wasn’t interested in the guy as a romantic partner, yet at every juncture of the journey, she just couldn’t find it in her to reject his advances. As the “relationship” went on, the inability to put a stop to it grew as well — “breaking up is way harder than saying I didn’t want to go out on dates with him, and I wasn’t ready to hurt,” she confesses. “I decided to go with the flow, tried to work on finding the spark between us… basically tried to get myself to like him, and hoped that this relationship would magically fall into place. Of course, none of that trying worked.”