What Happiness Looks Like To Me

From finding body confidence to not having children, three women share their stories of personal joy in their lives

- Lucia Walker

‘None of the dolls I had as a child looked anything like me, and that affected my self-esteem – something needed to change’

Co-owner of an online store selling 100% natural textured hair extensions, Caroline Hlahla, 35, lives in London with her fiancé Sandro. Caroline and her business partner, Khulile Vilakazi- Ofosu, founded the Sibahle collection of black dolls last year. None of the dolls I had as a child looked like me: they all had long, silky, flowing hair – something that my friends and I dreamt of having. We would even put pillowcases on our heads and pretend to flick our ‘hair’ around our faces. When I was 10, I got my hair straightened for the first time and I can clearly remember the excitement of finally having soft, straight hair that I could tuck behind my ear.

I didn’t realise it then, but having a doll that represented a beauty standard that I could never achieve naturally was so damaging to my self-esteem. Growing up, I resigned myself to the fact that it was just the way things were but, years later, something happened that made me realise I didn’t want the same thing to happen to other young black girls.

I spent 18 years straightening my hair with harsh chemicals, until one day I decided to stop and embrace my natural hair. In March 2016 I co-founded an online store, africanessentials.co.za, with my friend Khulile, which stocks 100% natural, afro hair extensions. I was at Khulile’s house one day when her young daughter came home from school saying she wished she had long, flowing hair. It brought back so many childhood memories for Khulile and me – we were determined to do something about it.

THE JOURNEY