Who You Love Doesn't Need a Label

My journey to accepting myself *exactly* as I am.

- By Kelly Schwint

I've always been an indecisive person. Pasta or tacos for dinner? Idk, you choose. Go thrifting or grab matcha? Whatever everyone else wants to do. It never bothered me very much-1 was content to go with the flow. But when it came to crushing? That's when things got tricky.

Looking back, I see plenty of signs that I was interested in girls, even at a younger age. In elementary school, my friends would whisper on the playground about the boys they thought were cute.

Tbh, I couldn't relate to those conversations-I never had an answer when it was my turn to choose a boy to like. But, then again, I was always more involved in my own interests (from musical theater to fashion) than in thinking about the exciting third-grade dating scene.

Boys have so many better options than girls do, I once remarked to my BFFs when the subject of dating arose a few years ago. That made everyone stop and stare for a second. Luckily, no one said anything, and we soon moved on.

FIRST FEELINGS

Then, Teen Beach Movie premiered on Disney Channel. I was obsessed with the character Lela-I'd watch the movie over and over again just to see her. I felt jealous when she kissed a boy onscreen, even though I knew it wasn't real life.

I'd had the same kinds of feelings before when encountering a similarly cool girl at school or a friend's cute older sister. The same questions would swirl around in my head: Do I want to be this person...or do I want to be with her?

All those moments finally added up, and I had a realization. No, I didn't want to be like Lela, the girl falling into some guy's arms. I wanted to be the one kissing her.