Would You Want Someone to Talk to You Like... You?

Time to dial down the negative self talk and raise the volume on your self-worth.

- By Amanda Kohr

Your inner critic feeling a little too chatty these days? It's a sign you could be struggling with negative self-talk. "Negative self-talk can look like name-calling yourself ['I'm such an idiot'], blaming yourself, making statements about what you 'should' have done differently or making self-deprecating comments," explains therapist Laura Sgro. In other words, being too hard on yourself.

Though negative self-talk is super common, that doesn't make it any less damaging: Studies show it can increase stress and anxiety and lower self-esteem.

Whether you're criticizing the way you look or you're beating yourself up for forgetting your chem homework, that naysaying voice in your head can seriously get in the way of you living your most confident, peaceful life.

But there are ways to keep your inner critic from running the show. Let's discuss...

SELF-TALK SECRET: NOTE YOUR TRIGGERS.

Negative self-talk can definitely be triggered by specific scenarios (like dropping the baton during your regional track relay), but your inner critic might also have a habit of showing up on a schedule...like every time you study for a geography test or shop for new clothes.

For Josie M., 16, it was social media that brought on the bad vibes. "When I scroll TikTok before bed after a long day, I start comparing myself to other girls and beating myself up for not looking a certain way," she reveals.

By noting what caused the frustrating feels, she made a simple change: "Now, at the end of a stressful day, I read a book instead of reaching for my phone."